Thursday, December 28, 2006

Window Shopping

One of the best designers in town had just unveiled the Christmas-New Year window display. And there it was, the most beautiful, perfect dress in the world. Oh, I want that one! she thought. I could wear it for New Years Eve and I'd look soooo good! I wish, oh God please, let it not be more than Rs. 1500. But if I spend all my money on the dress, what shoes will I wear with it. Nothing I own matches with this beauty! And what about my hair. I need to get a hair cut and a facial done too! So, lets say, I don't get a hair-cut, that would save me some. But then ... would it be such a good idea to buy this beautiful dress and wear it with my shabby, frizzy, unmanageable hair?! And if I wear boots with it... nah.. that wont do! You cant wear boots with this evening gown kinda dress! Oh, my life is so tough...I miss the days I didn't have to think twice before spending... "may be that's why you have no money now!" Whats the deal with this voice in my head! I mean do u not like me? For once lemme stop being conscientious and just spend.. I am going to be bankrupt anyway... so why not live it up one more time?" Oh stop being such a pessimist, you talk like this is going to be your last day and then you are going to live like the dead! "You'll bounce back, you've done it before, remember when you had no money and no skills and no real useful education? From that, you went to 2 cars, the best cell-phone, designer clothes, perfumes, lingerie, exorbitant chocolates, lavish parties. Why wont you do it now? It's just a matter of time and putting in the hard work. You'll be back with a bang...!" So should I not buy this dress? But what will everyone think? I can actually hear the women whispering to each other,
"Whats with her? How can people wear the same dress as last year. I always knew, she knew nothing about fashion! Look how last year that is! That 'look' was out ages ago!"
Should I really care what those dumb, fashion victims say? I always dressed for my self...also for the society, actually... I know I will still be the best dressed. But then I guess everyone feels that way about themselves. But isn't what you think and know about yourself the most important thing? Or is it?
" Don't let what people say affect you", she said out loud.
But how can I not! Isn't it important for me to keep up my social image? should I let them know that I have no idea where the money for my next months rent will come from?... and should they know that I don't even have enough money to wrap up my business and move! But if I let people know ... what about my credibility... Who will extend credit to me if they know...I know for a fact that people want their money back!
So does that mean I should go in and buy this dress and put up that act of being rich and happy and secure? I know I wont really be happy if I buy it. The guilt will set in as soon as I pay the money. I have bills to pay...then again... I have a party to go to!
Who says money doesn't help? Is surely helps make decisions simpler! saves time! brings some happiness too.. maybe not deep satisfying happiness, the kind you get from creating something from nothing, but surely the superficial, materialistic kind of happiness... and who says that they don't want that kind of happiness? The kind you feel, when you walk back home with loads and loads of shopping bags with those huge designer labels on them? The kind of happiness you get (maybe, not right) but when you see all the women looking at your dress enviously... the kind of happiness you get when you sign your name on the debit card slip with a Cartier pen?
And just then, her cell- phone rang and she slowly moved away from that show window , promising herself that dress soon.... very soon.
 
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