Mascara

"Switch off the lights .... you know how expensive electricity is! You children, never understood the value of money! All I do is keep switching off lights after you!' said Pritam, her old feet in new slippers making a peculiar sound on the marble floor.

"Precisely Mummy" said Renu, rolling her heavily made up eyes in a manner that would have put the best bollywood actress to shame.

"What is this?" she said picking up a mascara bottle off Renu's dresser and looking curiously at the silver embossing on the bottle, slowly moving her finger along the alphabets ...."

"Mascara hai" said Renu, seeing her grandma's reflection in the mirror as she finished applying lipstick to her smooth, unwrinkled lips.

'Maca?" 'Ki?' asked Pritam trying to search her memory for a similar word.

"Mas-car-a" said Renu... "for making the eye lashes look longer..."

'Oh ho! You don't need make-up! ... Just apply a chap stick and you are ready... that is what your bua (aunt) used to do" she said smiling at her granddaughter.

" Acha... ok! "

"This is a nice flat... hai na? You get very nice, bright sunlight in the balcony... it really dries up all the clothes rather quickly.

"Hmm... " said Renu dreading the idea of her clothes being put up on exhibition and shuddering at the thought of what havoc the 'nice, bright, sunlight' would play on her delicate clothes!

"You should let the sun come in sometimes... curtains all the time is not good for you. Look how pale you have become." said Pritam opening the drapes and enjoying the sunlight that flooded the room.

"yep... ok." said Renu, a small frown appearing on her crease less young face... eyes rapidly blinking to adjust to the sunlight now flooding her room.

"Where are my jeans? I put them right here on my bed! " muttered Renu throwing all the stuff off her bed and creating a small hill of very interesting things on the floor!

"In our times, girls were judged by how clean their rooms were. If a robber breaks into your room, he'll think someone beat him to it!... What are you looking for?"

"My blue jeans... I put them right here," said Renu, pointing to one corner of her bed.

"Which jean? neeli (blue)?"said Pritam picking up clothes and pillows and toys and deodorants off the floor with an exasperated sigh.

"Haanji!... have you seen them? Mummy, I am getting late" said Renu frantically throwing out clothes from her cupboard.

"Those were so dirty beta... so I washed them... look" she said pointing to the jeans hanging from a clothesline in the balcony, dripping and making a small puddle on the floor.

"Nahiiin! Noooooo! How could you do that? You washed them? You didn't even ask? Why!? I told you not to touch my clothes Mummy! I wash what I want to, when I want to! I didn't ask you to wash them! I specifically said to you last month not to touch the clothes on my bed!"

"It was sooo dirty! I can't let you wear dirty clothes...hai... what will people say?" "It needed a wash period" said Pritam innocently, retying her silver hair in a neat bun.

"You have ruined my evening... do you know how many months I worked on those jeans so they would be perfect? And it was perfect now! I specifically said not to touch anything! You don't understand! Why can't you mind your own business! This is so unfair,"said Renu now hysterical.

'Why don't you wear this one?' said Pritam holding up a mouse-brown pleated trouser.

'What is wrong with you! That is so out! Do you want me to look like a clown? Look at my make-up... look at my earrings ... wear that with these?' screamed Renu pointing at her earrings and t-shirt and hand bag and walking out of her room to the balcony.

"What did you wash them with?" she said hurriedly bundling up her designer jeans, spaghettis, dresses and jackets, t-shirts, shorts, skirts out of the harsh sunlight.

"Nirma of course." She said proudly, "I went to the market and esspecially bought Nirma for them. That foreign organic stuff you children use now-a -days... it doesn't clean at all... no wonder all your clothes looks yellow... look at the white shirt now... see... how clean it is now and what you use is so expensive!" said Pritam theatrically crossing her arms and shaking her head.

"Whatever!" said Renu also shaking her head and dialling her best friend's number on the cell phone as Pritam slowly, slightly unsteady on her feet, left the room, rearranging the bottles on the dresser on her way out.

"You won't believe this Sims... I can't make it today... mummy has washed all my good clothes with chemicals and like that wasn't enough...now all my denims look brand-freakin- new!! I am just so frustrated ya! I mean ... Why can't she mind her own business ya! And you know what is so unfair... if I tell someone what happened... I come out looking like such a nasty person... I mean... poor old woman... washes my clothes and I get mad! Why does she have to always do something like this... Now she is going to go watch some stupid KK serial and relate me to a nasty, spoilt, uncaring vamp! And that is not it at all... I love her to death but she just keeps pushing and pushing and pushing... till you have no control on your own life."

" I can understand how you feel."

"I so wanted to come.. you know." said Renu in tears and still hugging the bundle of wet clothes.

"I know," said Sims, "and hey! Renu, you are not a nasty, bad person... you are just human... just as she is".

Being Tom

"Hello! who is it?... Ronny?... yeah.. I am awake.. nah... tell me"
"Hey man... I am in deep shit... you need to help me Tom! I was with this chick ... things happened... Tara ... the kids... wont answer...
"OK! Ronny... slow down... you are breaking up... tell me what happened.... "
"Jeez man!!!... why don't you answer your calls! anyway listen up... I was at that bar we went to last summer... remember... 'Rystlers'... the one with the neon light bar stools..."
"Yeah!"
"...was sitting there drinking the Fireball...and this really hot chick comes up to me... and well one thing lead to another... so if Tara calls I was with you... and we were at Rystlers... drank too much and I am still in bed...and one more thing.. open up... am outside in 2 minutes."

"It's open... come on in... will be out in a minute"
"you look like shit... what happened?"
"Don't ask buddy... wouldn't wanna make you all jealous!" said Ronny winking and running his hands through his unruly hair.

"I am not lying for you anymore Ron... Tara is a wonderful person and I hate to...!" said Tom... "want some coffee?"
"Yep!"... sure could use some... Did I mention I was up all night?" said Ronny going into the bathroom.
'Oh Gawd!' muttered Tom
"What... what did ya say?? You know how your constant muttering bugs me!? " yelled Ron from the bathroom.
"Well.. good!... look Ron I am not lying for you, I just ain't... simple," said Tom plugging in the kettle.
"It won't happen again.. come on Tom I messed up... I was drunk... she was hot.. you know! what do you expect me to do? Go tell my wife?...who will leave me for sure... and take my three year old girl with her and they'll both hate me... and what for?... a stupid .. stupid ... stupid mistake..." said Ronny looking down at the blue gray carpet, shaking his head.
"Come on man... last time.. I promise"
"Here talk to her," he said dialing a number on the white cordless phone... "tell her I came down to meet ya coz.. well you needed to talk and that we went to Rystlers and had a drink too many... come on.. you know.. just make her believe...you know you are the only one she trusts of all my friends"
"I know," said Tom... "I know."
"Just this once!" said Ron crossing his heart like he used to back in school when they traded secrets about their crushes.
'He still looks like that guy in shorts and glasses and a tie selling tickets at the school fair,' thought Tom, looking at Ronny, who was now giving him the thumbs up.
"Hello!" said a soft, accented female voice on the other side.
"Good morning Tara... this is ...
"Hey Tom... how are you?"
"I am doing good Tara... sorry to wake you up at this hour... just wanted to tell ya that Ron is here with me... we got very late last night and I insisted that he shouldn't drive back"
"Oh! ... ok...uhmm... Thank you Tom...haven't seen you in a while... you should come over for dinner one of these days... I'll make apple pie for dessert!... I know that will get you over fast!
"You got that right, Tara, " said Tom laughing heartily.
"Good... Can I talk to him?" said Tara in her subdued voice.
"Sure," said Tom handing over the phone to Ron.

"I better head home buddy... I'll catch up with ya soon" said Ron hanging up.
"Coffee?" said Tom holding up a cup
"Nah... another day... thanks man... you are such a buddy!" said Ron running out the door.
Tom followed him to the porch and picked up his newspaper from between the rose bushes where it had landed and waved to Ron as he zoomed past him.

Tom took his coffee to the table... pulled up a chair... it was still early and it was one of those rare days when he got up early and could sit down with his coffee and read a newspaper on a weekday.
'Earthquake ... Fire... Plane Crash... Elections... Robbery... Murder... Nadal loses to Federer'. "Thank God for the sports page..." he muttered as he settled down.

* * *

"Green again... Wow! it's amazing how when you are running late you get all red lights and today when I am actually on time... rather early... I haven't gotten a single Red light!... Guess that's God's way of rewarding you!" said Tom to himself as he zipped past the row of offices.
'Who'd believe that in just a few minutes... it'll be tough to find a parking spot here' he thought as he looked up at the huge 'Real Deals at Zeal' banner...
"Good morning!" Mr. Flanagan, said John
"Good morning John... how are you today? Could you ask Margaret to send up some coffee please?" said Tom taking his letters from John.
"Mr Flanagan Sir... Miss Margret hasn't come in yet... and the pantry staff hasn't come in either.. I'll seee....'
"Oh not a problem John... guess that teaches me not to come so early to office! Don't you worry... just send up some coffee as soon as it is possible... ask Margret to do it.' said Tom smiling good naturedly at John.

'The new slogan really is something,' thought Tom looking at the floor meter in the elevator... 5.
"oh great ... at least housekeeping has finished their work,' thought Tom plugging in his laptop.
From his office he could see the elevator and everyone coming in. Mary in her white pullover carrying her favorite huge handbag... he often wondered what she had in it. Joe with his leg in a cast was getting out of the elevator with a group of six or seven who were nodding along as Joe talked.
'He's definitely telling them about how he slipped on a silly doll in the doorway and broke his leg... and how he was a force to reckon with because she got her head squished!' thought Tom shaking his head.
Maria, Simon, Ricky, and Gina were almost pushed out of the elevator.... as it stopped on the floor... it was very crowded by now... and everyone was in a hurry to get to their floor.'

Everyone wished Gina as she passed through the office to her cabin. She went past his office without looking his way... as Tom went into a reverie...'Good morning! Tom.
'Good morning baby... you look beautiful... I can't imagine waking up without you here,' said Tom rolling over on his side so he could see her.
'Oh you are sooo sweet...' and devilishly handsome.' said Gina, her eyes twinkling but her smile still sleepy...

"Mr Flanagan... Good morning! Sir... where do you want it?" asked Simon, the pantry boy balancing a tray much bigger than him as the aroma of coffee filling up the office and Tom shook himself back to the present.
'Good morning! Simon... just put it there on the table. Thank you.'
'Anything else I can get you sir?"
'That will be all Simon.. thank you."

"Oh you idiot stop thinking about her!" said Tom to himself as Simon went out.
'But it was good while it lasted... ' he thought and let out a sigh...'it wasn't real... you know that... said another voice in his head.
"...maybe it was," he said under his breath.
'yeah.... so real that ever since she got that promotion she hasn't even asked you how you are!' said the other voice.
'she never forced me ... and she so needed an idea to keep her job... it was only fair of her!'
'It was unfair of her to even expect it you sissy romantic!' said the other voice
'See that banner outside... see that office... that should have been yours'
'can't believe I let her use my ideas...'
'let it go...'
'Uhmm... the coffee is really good today.. I must remember to tell Simon, thought Tom sipping his coffee and getting ready for another day of work.

* * *


Tom looked at his watch. It was almost 5. 'Wow! I think I'll rent Babel today... finally!... This is great!' thought Tom smiling to himself.

'What are ya smiling about ?'
'Oh! Hey Mary... sorry didn't see ya there... was daydreaming!' said Tom smiling at the young blue- eyed, dark haired intern.
'How are you Mary?'
' I have been better Tom... I need your help... please please don't say no,' said Mary her eyes wide with worry.
'Sure Mary... what is it?'
'Tom....I am doing my masters along with this job and I have this really important test tomorrow... and Gina.. Gina has given me this huge heap of papers to sort and file and If I don't go home and study ... I'll fail for sure .. I told her this.. but she doesn't care about anyone but herself... forgive me.. I know you two were a thing... but....I don't see how... you, being you could date that Devil of a woman! ...It's a very important test.... I don't know who else to ask... you are the only one who is good to me here...and I know this is not your job... please please... I promise...I'll..." said Mary her voice getting squeaky and incomprehensible.

"Hey... Mary... slow down... relax... I'll do it... just get me the papers and go home and study," said Tom smiling reassuringly.
"Oh thank you, Tom... thank you soo very much... you are just wonderful," said Mary, heaving a sigh of relief and running to get the papers from her desk.

'Babel has to wait again,' thought Tom.. replugging his laptop and looking out the window... his desk overflowing with papers.

It was still light outside and down on the pavement he saw... ' the beautiful dark haired Mary wearing a short skirt and a halter neck top..... precariously balancing herself on her pencil heels crossing the road... all ready to party!'

He sighed and frowned and then a smile broke over his face and shaking his head he muttered
' she sure did a quick job... well...girls will be girls and.... guys will be guys'.
'If I can finish this in an hour I'll get back home and make myself a great cup of coffee and catch the rerun of the football match... that will be great,' he thought.

What Cheek!

I just started reading my first Saul Bellow novel "The
Adventures of Augie March". The very first page got me
hooked... and thinking:
"Everybody knows there is no fineness or accuracy of
suppression; If you hold down one thing you hold down the
adjoining."
This was it... this said it all ... in a weird way it answered
why India wasn't doing as well as it should... the cricket
team... the Indian writers... the actors... Something is
missing.. and I realized maybe.. just maybe this was it. If there is
no fineness and accuracy of suppression, I guess there is no
fineness or accuracy of repression either. Too many little dictators holding too many things down.

India became hugely famous for it's spicy food in the
twentieth century and in this century it is becoming dreadfully popular for it's moral policing! And why shouldn't the 'true' Indians be concerned? After all in their skewed dumb head , every white guy out there is crazed with the desire to rob India of her tradition and cultural heritage!

Take for example Richard Gere... what cheek! Kissing an Indian
woman.... on the cheek!!! Forget that he has been spreading
awareness about AIDS in the country... helping the Tibetans ...
promoting peace ... running charities... investing his time and
money... more than I can say for the people who are so quick to
judge him! When was the last time these self-appointed
guardians of Indian culture took any steps towards spreading
awareness about AIDS. Oh! how could I forget, AIDS is a 'phoren'
syndrome too... after all how can it exist in India, no one
ever heard of sex in India, children are gifts from the Gods, remember!
Here is this white guy... in India... loves Indian food,
converted to Buddhism... works hard to help the people... a
respected citizen in his country... a super achiever by any
standard...a good human being... kind enough to devote his time,
energy and money in our country and we thank him by dragging
him to court for kissing a woman (who loved it) on her
cheek. And did I mention that they were at a public function.It is not as if a scared defenseless damsel was being harassed in a crowded bus by an uncouth,uneducated, unconscionable goon. A humiliating experience every woman who has had to board a crowded bus has been through.

That reminds me of another recent incident involving Mandira Bedi,
the first Indian lady cricket commentator in a male dominated
profession. Recently, she had to apologize on national
television for being proud of her religion. Wanting to
show the world her feelings towards her religion she
got a religious symbol tattooed on her lovely shoulder. The
bigots were up in arms. After all they own the
religion. Whoever heard of such an absurd concept as "the freedom of expression!" Thousands of people have the same symbol tattooed on their hands, forearms and biceps. What was sacrilegious was that a beautiful, successful, confident woman
got it tattooed on her shoulder. The shoulder is impure, the hand is pure! How twisted!

Mandira, wanting to make amends and leave the whole tattoo
incident behind... wore a lovely sari ( a sari, surely no one's
sentiments could be hurt by her wearing a sari, in tune with
the Indian culture and tradition) for the Final Day of the
Cricket World Cup. Designed by a famous Indian
designer, it had flags of all the participating nations on
it. But the designer and Mandira both underestimated the 'Big Brother's
sensitivity (to successful, confident women?) "THE BIG
BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU".

How dare she wear Indian colors and disgrace the country.She should have known better. They made her apologize for being insensitive and unpatriotic.
Poor thing! She had to go and change her dress in the middle of the show.
The reason? The Indian flag was too close to her feet. (The feet are impure too).
And the poor soul.. apologized again... several times... on national television!

A lil too biased, are we?
A lil too proud?
A lil too fragile?
Looking for a lil ego massage are we?

Another incident making the news is about bookshops being ransacked and all copies of a certain book being torched after the Supreme Court lifted a ban on the book
'Shivaji : A Hindu King In Islamic India". Like the title suggests the book is
about Shivaji, an Indian ruler, written by James Laine. The ugly American, again. Who gave him the right to write about an Indian king. How dare he write something so sacrilegious even if he was translating an old Sanskrit book. What was he supposed to do if he has to translate a passage which
dealt with Shivaji's paternity? Lose the truth in translation to satisfy the
'moron police' ... Ooops... moral police?

But how dare he write about an Indian king is what 'the reverent ones' wanted to know . Why does he not stick to 'gora' kings. This American must be stopped lest he runs amuck and shakes the foundation of the mighty Indian culture.
What 'the prudes' are most upset about is that Laine brings
out a widely known fact about Shiva ji's paternity which the the 'restorers of history' want suppressed. The self appointed 'moral committee' came on TV to tell Laine to stay away from India and "not write 'such type of stuff ' ever again". Another ordered his disciples to "burn Laine's book."
What are they really scared of?

Why is it that most good Indian writers and artists prefer to live abroad? Is it
because creativity in India is killed before it blossoms. Is it because they feel stifled
here? Are we suffocating our Youth? Are we killing creativity?
How is it that youngsters of Indian origin outside India are doing so
much better? Are Indians in India not as smart?! That couldn't be it. Well, one thing I darn well know ... I better keep my head covered with a duppatta, not look anyone in the eye, make good grades, take up a job and never ever state what I feel about anything INDIAN and I'll do just fine in the largest democracy in the world.

Here something of what America is at least trying to teach it's citizens about America and freedom and democracy. This is what sums up democracy for me. In a powerful scene from the movie, "The American President"... where the President of the United States is making a speech after he has been targeted by the opposing party for dating a woman who was once seen in a protest rally burning the American flag sums up what freedom of expression means. he says, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its
citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free".

My Beautiful Green Eyed Friend

"How have you been?" said Tania, my beautiful green-eyed friend. She was just clearing up the table after breakfast. The kids were in school and the baby was napping. She had wanted to talk to me about something.
"Pretty good... and how are you... and that hot-shot husband of yours? " I said winking at her and helping her with the dishes. She looked tired.
"Hey... Why don't I do the dishes and you sit down over here and fill me in on all the gossip!" I said pulling out a dining chair for her.
She sat down with a sigh and poured herself the leftover orange juice from a sparkling crystal jug.
" I have no gossip... unless... 'Sammy pooped 20 times yesterday', accounts for gossip!" she said, her green-eyes twinkling... which reminded me of the time just seven years ago, when she had got selected as the 'new face' of the a cosmetic company. She had just got the news and had forgotten to brush her hair and at six in the morning was knocking on my door...excited, it seemed, more about the little adventure of waking me up at six than her contract. Disheveled, but eyes full of fun... hope... life ... excitement.

"Uhmm.... no it doesn't!", I said with a wry smile. "Tell me... how did your interview at the advertising firm go?" I asked her.

"Oh that! ... Samyra; Rajiv thinks this isn't probably the best time for me to take up a job... with his yearly evaluation coming up and with the kids being so young and all...."

"So we decided that I should start again in a few years time" she said studying the dining table closely.

"hmmm... " I said drying the dishes.

"Come and sit down, I didn't call you here to do my dishes!"

"How are things with you... I am very worried about you Samyra", she asked searching my face for answers. She could look at you like she was looking into your soul and whatever you said, didn't matter.

"I am fine... I'll be better!" I said smiling back at her.

"I think you are in denial...You need to grow up...Honey, life isn't like we thought it was... it's not so simple...why don't you try for that job in advertising... it is still open you know and it pays so well...and maybe you'll meet someone there... you know you aren't getting any younger... "

"Tania... I love what I do"

"Sure you do... but why don't you try out something else... it's a great job you know... great benefits... you could still act in your spare time...acting really isn't something you can bank on... it works out for very few people...."

"And it will work out for me Tania."... I said quietly.

"Why are you being so tough? Samyra, grow up! Look at me Samyra... I have three wonderful children...a husband...I know he isn't Richard Gere... but he is good man... Remember, I wanted to be a dancer... perform all over the world... those are great fun dreams to have as a teen... kept us busy... But I am finally settled in life.. and I wish you would just grow up a little...It was okay as a childhood dream to want to become a super star! ...To wait for Prince Charming... I can't believe you turned down that wonderful chartered accountant from Punjab... stop being so naive girl... life is no fairy tale!"

"And I refuse to let it become a nightmare Tania! "

"A nightmare?" Her lovely green eyes froze with some strange thought.

" I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I gave up on the one thing that I want to do and if I started treating it like my last priority ... and expecting to make it... I would be fooling myself."

"I think it is about time you started fixing your life, Samyra".

"Tania...But it ain't even broken!" I said... almost near tears... she just didn't get me anymore.

"Oh honey, don't cry... I am just trying to help you." said Tania lovingly.

Children of Men

I kept my commitment of the last 3 years of watching The Academy Awards, live! Now, if you are in India, you will realise that doing so isn't as simple as it sounds.... especially if you are one of those people who never bought into the "early to bed, early to rise... " deal.
Here, I sat in front of the TV all groggy-eyed in my Pajamas, with a cup of coffee abated breath as the live 'from the red carpet' coverage came on...and all the demi-gods and goddesses in their designers walked into the Kodak Studio.
I am always very struck by the class in Hollywood.
They were announcing the nominees for "Best Cinematography" , I think... and one of the movies nominated this year was "Children of Men".
The title just stuck in my head... my initial negative and not very witty comment was "Who else has children!??"
And then a small voice in my head told me to shut up. So shut up I did, but how does one become stop the stream of consciousness?!
"I can't be brain dead... can I? " Yes, I sometimes admonished the small voice.
Now, I haven't seen the movie and I have no idea what it's about. But here's what was going on in my head as the winner was trying to finish his acceptance speech before the music came on to shut him up.
It's probably about children whose parents were successful. Probably, they are talking about the kids of movie stars or presidents or big CEO's? And that got me thinking.
Who is successful? Who can we really say are Men of our generation?
Is it the person with the biggest car/house/jet/boat?
Is it the person with the maximum number of 'designers' in his closet?
Is it the person who has the maximum press coverage in a year?

Of course, all these actors are successful... they are wonderful, talented individuals who believe in what they do.
But then, do you have to be rich and famous and fabulous to be considered successful?

"Does that mean my Grandpa isn't successful in his life?" He is neither rich nor famous yet he is wonderful.

Now, my grandpa is 86 years old and he was an only child who lost his parents very early in life. He took up a job and retired from it forty two years later. Most of his education was on the job. he married one of the prettiest women I know.... had 3 lovely kids... equipped all three, with a good education... and retired many many many years ago.
I would call him a success... not in the way it's made out to be in the world ... He has no fancy cars and no Armani suits!
But here's what I know he has, he has tremendous faith in people and in God and in goodness.
He has this great sense of humour and a need to help everyone. He has decency and lives by a set of principles. He is contented.
And he has been able to pass all this onto his children.
This man with no money, no fame, no high tech gadgets, no so-called achievement (he never topped school or anything).... is he not a hero? A man if there was one!
So who are the real celebrities?

Everyone has children but it is the 'children of men' that really count.

Now, men to me would be people (not famous celebrity sorts) but yes,
extra-ordinary people, who had the courage to live their lives by their principles.
Men of character, men who dared to say " this is what I stand for"...
And who in their lifetime or after, could pass on some of this magic potion of integrity, honesty, decency to another.
People who helped shape another generation. People who showed their children through example how important being a decent, honest, helpful, genuine, god-fearing human being is.


Children who were lucky enough to have the sense to realise just how special these parents are.

It's not the money, it's not the gadgets, it's not about grades, it's not about a good job.... success is about shaping a new, brighter, more wonderful tomorrow in your own little way.